Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she smelled like a LAN party
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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