i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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