can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
