the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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