I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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