she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
