dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
