I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
