Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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