I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
