You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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