Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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