Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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