Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
