I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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