i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
