She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
