if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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