I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
