Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
