i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize