All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
