Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
