Soap is not a condiment
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
