sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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