Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
MIDGETS
????
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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