butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
