I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize