Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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