there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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