If that was your dad, he is hot
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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