I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
