and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
