Cold hands, warm shart.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
