Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
