Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
