that's an acceptable place to lick
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize
