the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize