If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
