So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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