after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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