I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
