i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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