So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
