if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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