I'm really into asian looking animals
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
