Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
nutella sex= disaster
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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