Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
