Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"

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(416): View more from Ontario

I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.

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(514): View more from Quebec

i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either

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(714): View more from California

We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship

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(714): View more from California

Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick

(1-714): View more from California

He's old enough to be your father!

(714): View more from California

REALLY. BIG. DICK.

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