Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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