Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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