Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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