She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You're like the curious george of whores
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
