I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
this will be a night to untag.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
