Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
