i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
