We're like a lot better than the average bears
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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