And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
