matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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