you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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