You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
