why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
