this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
