these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
