There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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