yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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