Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
