alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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