And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
