Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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