I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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