Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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