oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
