i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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