she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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