U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
