home. puking in laundry basket.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
BRING THE BAGELS
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
