Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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