Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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