He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
A+ Viking dick
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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