I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
