We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
