He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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