I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
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